Today I am exhausted. I feel broken and shattered. I have felt like there has been a weight on my shoulders slowly becoming heavier with each passing day, and last night was the straw that broke the camels back. I have always known that I’ve been disliked; all my life I’ve been disliked by those around me.
It just really breaks my heart to have people who don’t really know me or understand my disorder, to treat me the way they do. To threaten me, to scare me and to break me down. I am not welcome in people’s lives.
I feel like I am a walking joke. All I can think about is how things would be if I ended it. If I just decided to go away and be at peace, maybe just maybe things would be normal.
I am sick of being hated for doing nothing. I’m sick of always having to hide and be silent because I am not good enough. I will never be good enough and I want out.
I really hope I don’t wake up tomorrow. Today is harder than yesterday, and yesterday I copped a hurricane. Today I am the aftermath. A complete wreckage.