Pain

IMG_3341.JPGIf you truly loved someone, would you put them through hell and back?

Yesterday I had no choice but to say goodbye to someone I have considered my best friend for years. We had been through so much together. I loved him, a lot. We lost a baby together. He was there when I lost all my other friends and all my family drama. And now since moving on  to someone else, they have told me to let him go. I am forbidden to have that friendship.

I had to choose my  best friend or my boyfriend.

I am in a world of hurt. I have lost all the closest friends to me my entire life, I’ve had no one. And this is another friendship that I held so close gone. Yet again.

I am broken and I can’t be healed.

At night when I sleep, I dream of losing him over and over. I dream of losing my baby over and over. I just want my own baby to hold. I want everything to be okay.

but it isn’t.

I don’t have a baby, and I don’t have my best friend anymore.

What am I supposed to do? I am going to fall apart. I don’t want to live anymore. I have no one to turn to. I am cutting ties with the one person who could keep me together. He agreed on a friendship and nothing else, and now that’s ripped from my hands.

help me. before it’s too late.

 

-Ashley

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