Healing

It’s okay to be heartbroken. It’s human nature to feel like you’ve lost something important. It’s okay to grieve. Everyone grieves in their own way.

I recently came out of a long term relationship and it’s been tough. I have days where I feel okay, and others where I just want to call to hear their voice. It’s a really hard process to go through but I’ve been here before. I survived and I will survive again.

I have a bad habit of being so afraid of being alone that I will jump from one relationship to another. From my own experience it isn’t a great idea. I should have spent that time learning how to love myself before letting someone else love me. Most relationships won’t last, but when you find the right person things will fit into place perfectly. I get so scared of being alone that I will attach myself to the first person that comes along.

My relationship ended a few months ago, however I was still involved with him. I won’t go into detail about how it all went down. Long story short we were friends; with a few benefits. We knew it was over, but I was clinging onto it. He was one of my closest friends before the relationship and once it was over, I was scared that I might lose the friendship as well. There was a solid 2 months of general tomfoolery before I thought I would go out. I decided to go with my ex boyfriend (who I had only become friends with again after a year of hatred and silent treatment). We went to a pub and I met someone that night. Nothing spectacular happened, I had a couple drinks and I was tired so I wanted to go home. This stranger paid for my uber home, and when he went to say goodbye he kissed me. Fast forward 2-3 weeks later, we start dating.

Fast forward a month and here I am. I’m with the most kind-hearted, loving person I’ve ever met in my life. I’m treated like a queen and I feel like i’m on top of the world. However there are still days that I can’t help but think about my previous relationship. I get urges to message or call, or I just relive all the positive memories. It’s all about the path of healing, It doesn’t happen overnight, it’s a long grueling process.

Always remember to put yourself first. Love yourself. You might be hurting but your body is healing. Just like a physical wound; it takes time to heal. It’s okay to cry.

But one day you will be okay. and it’s my mission that today onward I focus on whats in front of me, rather than my past.

 

This concludes my first blog post. I will write again soon.

-Ashley

 

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